11.19.2007

What Matters More...

Or how do I balance the two?

1. That all You want is for us to be complete. Sex, food, pain, sin, all of it, is just our way of trying to complete ourselves, and You offer completion and connection.

2. We are to be zealous for your justice, holiness and glory. We should be willing to deny everything and everyone to be focused on You and our relationship with You, alone.

11.15.2007

Persecution and Intimidation

I'm feeling pretty down. I'm really tired of being me. I'm tired of the people and the pain and the fakeness.

I'm tired of doing things to make people feel better. I'm tired of guilt and selfishness. I'm tired of making excuses and lying to cover up mistakes.

I'm tired of doing a half-assed job.

I'm just so stinkin' tired.

11.14.2007

Forgetfulness.

I had a really great topic that I wanted to bring up on here, but I totally forgot it already.

We lost to Bama last night. 90 to 83. Good game, though. Good game.

11.13.2007

What is this stuff called Life and Work and Grades?

Why do we run around anxiously trying to make ends meet?

Why do these things matter more than other people?

Why do I think I matter more than other people?

Gah.

11.12.2007

Giving

America makes me mad. Why is it always so hard to give up stuff for others who need it more than I do? Gah.

11.07.2007

God

Do any of these things truly warrant me wondering and mulling over them?

I get this feeling at times--when I'm away from everyone--that God is so much bigger than we imagine Hir to be. Genderless, originless, limitless, my God meets and exceeds the ideas we present in trying to describe Hir. I mean, like way exceeds.

And we're so dumb, God just kinda broke it down for us--Allows us to feel pursuit and romantic love so we can sorta (?) identify the complexity of God's love--that it is so much deeper and passionate and fulfilling than our own. Allows us to think of Hir as a Father and Jesus as a Son so we can compare the depths of the similarities and the heartbreak and the sacrifice that God suffered through to find us again.

Shepard, King, Counselor, Friend, Judge, Mother, Father, Creator, Artist, Musician, Poet.

You are Truth.
You are Good.
You are Big, Big, Big.

Teach me how to center myself around You. May my interactions, work, and love of others be a reflection of You today.

You are bigger--more wonderful--more challenging--more loving--more wild--than any other ideas we may have of You. Unleash Yourself. Run wild in our midst. May we thirst for You and Draw all men to Yourself.

Fridays in the Cafe

They always feel different for some reason.
Maybe it's the unspoken tension-food service employees, eager to serve the last meal so they can run home to their
families,
cars,
shopping,
food,
addictions,
friends,
God.

Or students, tired from a week of
studying (or not),
working (or not),
networking (or not),
sleeping (or not),
eating (or not),
are ready to shake the dust from their heels and embrace one of those highly coveted weekends.

They're ready to
dance with that girl,
sleep for more than 3 hours,
drink choice beverages to excess,
visit family they haven't seen in 2 months,
work on service projects,
engage in someone else's life...
or maybe...
sit quietly and get lost in a book.

Weekends mean freedom:
from classes,
from peers,
from standards,
from life.

And we all sit around, waiting, anxiously, for Friday to die.

emh
10/05/07

11.06.2007

The Good Way

by Avalon

Traffic noise, expensive toys
A love that never last
Broken homes and self-made thrones
We're livin' life too fast
That we forget the things that His love brings
Beyond what this world is
I can hear it still today
What the preacher used to say
This is how you live
You've got to...

CHORUS
Believe in you heart
Right down to your soul
And speak the true things
And know that you know
'Cause this might be the day
So live like it is
Find the good way
And walk in it
Walk on

Saints of old and streets of gold
Will gaze upon His throne
Singin' holy, holy
God of glory
We'll worship Him alone
So keep your eye on the sky
While it's all passing by
This world is not our home
'Cause someday soon
We're gonna be made new
But until then
You've got to...

Take a look around
The world is falling down
Why can't we see
That it's almost over
The clouds are rollin' in
He's gonna break the sky
The dead are gonna rise
Those who are alive in Him
Will fly, will fly

Find, find the good way
Find, find the good way

11.04.2007

Burn Us Up

God, burn us up with a passion for making You known. All of us. Even those who don't think You're real or that You're good or Truth.

Burn Us Up

by Shane Barnard

There were three before the king.
There were three who wouldn't bow to him.
For when you heard the music play and you were standing you would burn.
They looked at him and said...

Burn us up. Burn us up. Burn us up.
Oh, king won't you burn us in the furnace your desire.
We give up. We give up. We give up.
Oh, king won't you burn us in the furnace your desire.
Oh won't you throw us in the fire.

The king enraged at what they said.
Sent the three away to find their death.
The palace stopped in unbelief when the guilty raised their hands to sing...

Burn us up. Burn us up. Burn us up.
Oh, king won't you burn us in the furnace your desire.
We give up. We give up. We give up.
Oh, king won't you burn us in the furnace your desire.
Oh won't you throw us in the fire.

You are able to deliver from the fire of affliction!
It's the declaration of my Lord!
You're not an image of gold!
You're the God of Old.
You have made us. Come and save us. We are yours!
But even if you don't we will burn.

So burn us up in the furnace of your desire.

11.02.2007

Pour Out

I think that it is so interesting--the switch between when a set of words mean something to when they are just words.

Where is the transition between meaning and repetition?

Why do we sing the same worship choruses over and over again? Should we come up with something new each time?

It makes me sad that
Shout to the Lord
Breathe
Unashamed Love
Shout to the Lord
Heart of Worship
Amazing Grace
Indescribable
How Great is Our God
and countless others...

...have become icons and idols, tangible expressions of our lazy and self-serving hearts. We sing songs because they meant something to us at one point in time, not because they are reflections of how much we think You are worth. Not now.

What does true worship look like? Is it in our lives? Is it how we read Your words? Is it how we love others? Is it making up new songs all the time?

I feel like claiming people.

I feel like loving people.

I want to love those that I've fallen out of love with.

I want to fall in love with You again, too.

Woo me. Seduce me. May I run after You.

Pour out your water, that I might take a sip
Your love consumes me, every drip
It is like honey on my lips
So pour out your water, that I might take a sip

And your words are a lamp unto my feet
And I walk down these dark and lonely streets
You are all I need

Pour out your mercy, and clear this busy mind
Your love is like eating a slice of apple pie
It is like sugar on my tongue
So pour out your mercy, clear my busy mind

And your words are a lamp unto my feet
And I walk down these dark and lonely streets
You are all I need

Your words are a lamp unto my feet
When I walk down these dark and lonely streets
You are all, You are all, You are all,
You are all, You are all, You are all, You're all I need