8.24.2008

senior year.

the chains clink one by one.

it almost sounds like a guitar string being tuned too high out of it's intended range.

perhaps it will snap and you'll fall backwards to the beginning.

but most likely, that's just your imagination and you're going to move straight on down like millions have done before you.

the clinking stops.

you're at the top.

you feel the wind in your hair. it's calm, quiet. you try to remind yourself to breathe.

one, two, one, two, in, out, in, out.

it's how you've always done it. you'll make it through. breathing.

look down.

oh, wait, don't look down.

what sort of sick curiosity is it that burns in us, that desire to meet our fate head-on?

courage or stupidity,

i'm not sure which.

either way, you're looking down.

and you're hanging onto the foam covered bar in front of you.

you're digging in your heels.

it's coming.

you hang on tighter.

you see your fate. you see that drop, that plunge.

one, two, in, out.

remember to breathe, that's important.

look at the landscape. the trees, the little people with the pinsized heads.

your friends riding along with you, trying to prove that they are reckless daredevils, themselves.

click. click.

the car is inching.

the people around you take a communal gasp for air.

click. click, click,

this is it.

click, click, clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick

the landscape runs into a blur.

the clinking is a purr.

the wind is pulling at your hair, whipping it against your sun-kissed cheeks.

your stomach is at your chest.

you feel the dizzying sensation of freedom.

the woman behind you is screaming bloody murder.

and you would kinda like to punch her in the face.

because even if you wanted to, you can't scream.

so you just close your eyes and laugh a little.

and enjoy the plummet,

because pretty soon it's all over.

and you'll be wishing you were at the top again,

digging in your heels

and tasting freedom

even if it is for 30 seconds.

8.16.2008

Soundtrack.

1.Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2.Put it on shuffle
3.Press play
4.For every question, type the song that's playing
5.When you go to a new question, press the next button
6.Don't lie just to be cool ...psht. like I would do THAT.

This is the soundtrack of my Life

Opening Credits: "Waking Up" by Charlie Hall - On The Road to Beautiful

Birth: "I Got a Feeling" by Third Day - Wire

Waking Up: "Make You Dance" by Squad Five-O

First Day At School: "Welcome in this Place" by Hillsong - God He Reigns

Falling In Love: "A Well Respected Man" by the Kinks - Juno Sountrack (Talk about ironic? Interesting...)

Fight Song: "Yours is the Kingdom" by Hillsong - God He Reigns

Breaking Up: Peter Gynt Suite No. 2: Arabian Dance by Grieg (? that's what I get for having Classical music on my computer)

Prom: "About You" by ZOEgirl - Room to Breathe

Life's Okay: "The Very End" by Derek Webb - The Ringing Bell

Mental Breakdown: "You're Worthy of My Praise" - Rescue Mission Praise

Driving: "Worlds Apart" by Jars of Clay - Jars of Clay

Flashback: "No Greater Love" by Steven Curtis Chapman - Declaration

Getting Back Together: "Treasure of You" by Steven Curtis Chapman - Heaven in the Real World

Wedding: "Lord Let Your Glory Fall" by Phillips, Craig and Dean - Here I Am to Worship

Birth of Child: "I Will Not Forget You" - Random.

Final Battle: "Sing a Song" by Third Day, but sung by a rip off.

Death Scene: "Help!" by the Beatles

Funeral Song: "The Everlasting" by Third Day - Offerings 2

End Credits: "That Where I Am, There You May Also Be" by Rich Mullins - the Jesus Record

8.09.2008

Roman 12:9-21

ESV

9 Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. 10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. 11Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. 12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. 13 Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. 17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 19Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." 20To the contrary, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head." 21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

The Message:

Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it.

Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good.

Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.

Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame.

Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant.

Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder.

Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.

Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath.

Laugh with your happy friends when they're happy; share tears when they're down.

Get along with each other; don't be stuck-up.

Make friends with nobodies; don't be the great somebody.

Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone.

If you've got it in you, get along with everybody.

Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do.

"I'll do the judging," says God. "I'll take care of it."

Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he's thirsty, get him a drink.Your generosity will surprise him with goodness.

Don't let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good.

8.06.2008

moving sucks.

i'm really sad.

i just wanted to say that somewhere.

change is hard, and i wish that jessica wasn't leaving.

i was thinking about why that bothers me so much and i think it is because ever since i met her last year, i totally wanted her to be my friend. and so i was also looking forward to having her as a boss because that would somehow define our relationship (even if it was going to be really hard, because all the other res lifers said it would be...so i suppose i should be happy she is leaving?). But now, it's another one of those things. People walk in and out of your life and you play an itty bitty part in making them smile one day or laugh another, but after that, they are gone.

To name a few: J.D., E.C., A.W., A.E., K.C., R.C., P.E., B.F., K.G., A.H., and perhaps, now J.M.. People that encourage you to keep in touch, you feel a strong connection to them, and yet, still, distance and absence 9 times out of 10 make the heart less fond when considering a loosely defined relationship.

Is it based on what I do with it? I fear being awkward and stepping out and doing too much. I don't want to stalk or annoy or harass. I want people to be free to make changes and live well.

But my heart still hurts. Dammit, it hurts. I wish there was a solution to all this unhappy.

8.05.2008

funny things.

i just wanted to mention how much better i feel about my life when i read the Bible. i'm going through Romans again, and my big prayer is that i'd be wooed again.

and i'm finding truth and comfort.

satan is a liar, and God is Truth.

in other news,

i've been pretty sad today because i found out my boss is resigning. i was really looking forward to working with her this year, getting to know her more and such...but such is the atmosphere of small private college Mercer. it seems there are more problems than good, and people hate Macon, and blah blah blah.

plus i got little sleep last night. it was crazy weird. i only got like, 3 hours. but i wrote a song. it's called "Solution". i'm thinking about posting it up here, but dunno how the internet works, and would much rather develop it on my own without someone stealing it and jazzing it up...just yet. maybe i'll play it at my church sometime.

i use a little riff i've been playing for the past 3 years. i'm glad to actually use it in a song. the poor thing has had no purpose except keeping me company since it's creation. lol.

anyways. i'm going to go pack and call Lauren.

have a great night :)