4.29.2009

John 16:4-16

But I have said these things to you, that when their hour comes you may remember that I told them to you.

“I did not say these things to you from the beginning, because I was with you. 5 But now I am going to him who sent me, and none of you asks me, ‘Where are you going?’ 6 But because I have said these things to you, sorrow has filled your heart. 7 Nevertheless, I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you. But if I go, I will send him to you. 8 And when he comes, he will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment: 9 concerning sin, because they do not believe in me; 10 concerning righteousness, because I go to the Father, and you will see me no longer; 11 concerning judgment, because the ruler of this world is judged.

12 “I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. 13 When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. 14 He will glorify me, for he will take what is mine and declare it to you. 15 All that the Father has is mine; therefore I said that he will take what is mine and declare it to you.

16 “A little while, and you will see me no longer; and again a little while, and you will see me.”

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Brothers and Sisters,

...He will guide you into all the truth, He will glorify me, He will take what is mine and declare it to you...

Here is to hope and faith and knowing that He is guiding you and me into all truth, and that He will be made known through our lives, and that what we have is given to us directly from God. He already has it, He already knows what He is going to do with it, and He will guide us in it.

Yippee!

I have a lot more questions about this passage than the few things I just pulled out. So, if you have any insight about this passage or God in general, it would be nice to hear it! :)

Sorry I've been so sporadic in my postings.

beth

4.19.2009

distracted.

it's funny.

i say i want nothing else than to pursue God whole-heartedly,
but there are a lot of distractions.

sometimes i end up wondering if i'm just blowing smoke,
or if my heart really is after Him.

sure, i mess up a lot,
sure, i'm forgiven and loved regardless,

but i know in Him is the only place i can be happy and okay with myself.
and it's odd, because although i know this,
i worry
and i pace
and i fret
and i think

and let my thoughts run far away
from the throne
and the wisdom
and the truth
and the love
of this God i say i want to love better.

here's to looking up,
to knowing that there is a plan,
and it's better than anything i could come up with

and sometimes the road is crap
because sometimes that's just how life is
and sometimes we bring it on ourselves.

but wholeness is coming,
and i believe wholeness is here.

around a corner,
in my heart,
and i'll be found by it when i'm least expecting to find it.

4.17.2009

letters, graduate school, and dancing.

researching opportunities,
i keep hearing this question.
it's nagging me.

"are you settling, or are you pursuing God's best?"

there are so many places in my life right now
that i've found myself settling.
mediocre,
lazy,
stagnant.

death comes from the absence of growth.

i have no idea the direction i'm supposed to go.

honestly, i'd love to stay at mercer a little bit longer.
i'd love to be here
and at new city
and working with another conference
and near my family
and with my friends...

but part of me aches for something big.
something far away
maybe not physically,
but in my heart.

a place to recenter, to learn who i am, to figure out all this garbage that i'm hanging onto and to maybe begin afresh.

i know that the direction i end up going now isn't the end.
it's a beginning.

and i know that life is about learning and making mistakes, and
finding out what we're passionate about.

but what if i want everything?

i don't know. my mind is in a ton of places.

it's not just about what i'm supposed to do after may.
my mind is dancing, throbbing, spinning
with dreams of love,
hope of connection,
pursuit of health and life,
the desire to be connected with friends and family.

if i'm not careful,
i have this feeling i'll pick one,
and then sit out for the rest of the dance.

and as much as i like to pretend that i don't dance because i'm too cool or not feminine enough (which is another story for another time), i really want to dance and whirl wildly.

to be caught up in the wild colors that frolic across the floor, lighting up the room.

i have a feeling God's best is out there for me. it's there.
i know God's best is out there for me.
the first lines of the song are being queued.

i refuse to believe that i would have to choose one thing and sit idly.
i will wait until the beat picks up, and then i'm going to dance until this life is no more.

atleast that's what i want.
a silly metaphor and little bit of direction.

4.13.2009

on dental floss and senior papers.

i just wanted to let you know,

i have been flossing my teeth. and brushing them for long[er] periods of time, and it's been delightful.

right now, we're (meaning my group, and not me because I'm blogging) putting together a slide show for our senior presentation.

and i'm telling you that i've been flossing.

because right now,
that's pretty important,
and i have some big decisions to make,
and some big things to do,
but all i can think about is how proud i am
that i
have been flossing
and brushing my teeth.
i think, honestly,
it's because i'm totally freaked out by the decisions i need to make.

i mean,
floss is pretty important.

let's take a vote. what should i do after i graduate?

1.) more school
2.) travel
3.) work
4.) join a commune.

awright. and go.

4.08.2009

charles

so if you know anything about me,
i've been having a really hard time lately.
deciding on life and stuff.
and perhaps not deciding, just waiting.
patience,
hope,
the knowing it is going to be okay, but
waiting for that.
and waiting on what i'm supposed to do.

i have been having a hard time reading the Bible lately,
have just felt a little dirty,
a little hard-hearted,
it concerns me a bit, i wonder how to fix it.
but i just couldn't read today.
i looked at it,
i had time, i just couldn't muster the will to read.
so i went to chapel,
hoping someone there would bring me the word i needed to hear.

i didn't really hear anything helpful in chapel.
it was nice and all,
encouraging,
interesting,
engaging,
but didn't speak to me.

chris fuller came up to me afterwards and joked about my upcoming decisions.
"you're like the dude with the 5 talents"
'i know!' i said. it sucks.
"yea, it's a curse and a blessing"
'totally!', i said. it sucks sometimes.
"you just have to keep waiting. i didn't know until my second year of seminary that i was going to do student ministry"
cool.

what
am
i
doing.
aghghghghg
was actually what was going through my head.

and i called my dad
and was complaining to him,
when i walked by this older black man

i don't know if he was homeless or crazy or whatever,
there was a little foaming at the corners of his mouth,
and i think he noticed that i was upset
and he looks a me and says,

"you just gotta keep a positive attitude,
and keep your head up,
and keep getting smarter by going to class and learning,
and keep praying to Jesus,
because there is hope,
and that's what we have to hang on to,
and maybe he'll take us to another planet,
maybe we'll just fly to another planet!
Praise God!"

he kinda lost me at the planet thing,
but the rest of it was really good.

so i gave him a hug and asked his name.
it was charles.

i'm also big on names and meanings.
charles means "free man"
oooh.

praise God for charles.
and for reminders that it is for freedom that He has set us free. Galatians 5.1.

i love you.
keep it up,
keep a positive attitude,
keep learning.
we have hope.

hope of life, and life abundantly.

4.02.2009

wishes.

i wish there was a better way to tell you that i love you.

i wish that there weren't stigmas attached to love today.

i wish the world believed in such a thing as pure love,
and that Christians would show people,
so that we wouldn't be confused about what love really is.

i wish that we could be friends forever.

sometimes i wish we had forever long to sit and talk and learn about each other.

time is a sick thing.

i suppose we all have to learn and grow up.

i wonder where we'll be in 5 years.